TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, DARLING
Hello, you scrumptious married-couples-to-be!
Sticking with the theme of telling wedding planner tales, I wanted to raise an issue with you that’s become pretty darn dear to my heart over the years.
What I find rather worrying – and want to focus on today – is the fact that I’ve seen more and more brides and grooms putting their wellbeing and health last throughout the wedding planning process and, unsurprisingly, ending up run down and exhausted. It’s all too often that I hear phrases like ‘I’ve just got to hold on for a few more weeks’ or even ‘I just want it to be over with now.’ Does that last one break your heart as much as it breaks mine?
Holy Macaroni! What happened? When did wedding days become such gigantic deals that they were worth putting your health at risk – and I mean that in both, the physical and mental sense. It’s a big day, obvs, no debating that. But is it worth putting yourself under that much stress that you end up wishing the day away before you’ve even opened the first bottle of wedding morning fizz?
My Darling Mentor always used to say “without you, there is no business, so you must take care of yourself.’ The very same thing goes for you brides and grooms, whether you want to hear it or not. And I know, this is very ‘Dear Pot, Love Kettle’ coming from me of all people. But this is a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kinda scenario and you can apply the very same message to yourself:
Because without you, there is no wedding day.
If you’ve ready this, and you think “what is this woman yabbering on about,” then read no further. You’re clearly one of those well-adjusted human beings I so admire, someone who doesn’t sweat the small stuff and has his or her priorities beautifully in check. Can you teach me to tame my OCD?
If you’re still reading, though, at least take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. Today’s world is insanely fast-paced and we never even seem to have enough time to take a deep breath (and possibly smell the odd rose). You’ve got your relationship, your family, your friends, your job – and on top of that, you’re planning a wedding, with all the 300-odd hours of wedmin (research, emails, venue and supplier meetings, Pinterest board making, etc.) and everything else that entails.
Something’s got to give, and all too often it’s your nerves and/or body. So my message to you today is very Flower Powery and filled with luuurve:
BE KIND TO AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
And yes, I’m disgracefully aware that I’ve just shouted this in caps and added an exclamation mark. Yikes!
I know this is way easier said than done but you must promise to take care of yourselves and each other through the wedmin process. Just look at it as the first step in marriage guidance: how to focus on what’s important and how to work together as team bride&bride/bride&groom/groom&groom.
If you feel yourself getting stressed out over not having ticked enough boxes on your wedding to-do list, divide and conquer and allocate some of those tick-less jobs to your family and friends. Chances are, they’d be delighted to be involved but didn’t want to tread on your toes.
And if that doesn’t work for you, cast your beady eye over that wedding to-do list for anything that might be a pretty bonus but isn’t reeeaaally necessary. Do you absolutely have to apply gold leaf to 120 apples for place settings? Must you re-plant 98 baby succulents for guests to have as favours to take home? Will you reminisce about your wedding day and think: “Oh it was beautiful, but if only we’d handmade 48 more pom poms, it would have been perfect?”
I don’t mean to be facetious, far from it. If any of the above has kept you wide awake for nights on end, trust me, I know how you feel. Been there, done that. This is me, Mrs OCD. The woman who re-made the bed after her husband made it because it just wasn’t quite “so” enough.
Also, the woman who spent an entire afternoon bullying her immensely patient best friend (and you know who you are, Mrs S-M!) into recreating Martha Stewart style canapés, with chives laid at perfectly straight angles, and all that.
I hate to say this but – did anybody notice? Nope. Did anybody realise how much time went into it? Nope again. Did anybody care? Huh – triple nope.
But did I miss out on precious time sitting on the roof with my best friend, sticking pasty legs towards the sun, drinking fizz and putting the world to rights? Uhm. Yes.
So be kind to yourself – and I don’t care whether that means making yourself a kale sandwich or a triple gin. Whatever flips your pancake.
Just make sure your emotional and physical health don’t get put under more stress than they can handle. They may well fight back otherwise. And if you need any help or advice on any of the above, please just holler. I’m not a qualified therapist by any means but I can definitely share the odd tale with you that’ll make you realise you’re not alone.
Toodles and love and gigantic hugs,
— Mrs b&g